Acting “As If”
Do you want to be more decisive? A better listener? Do you wish you were more articulate, more organized, more collaborative? Or perhaps you’d like to be less deferential, or less hesitant? These are a few of the common desires I hear from folks when talking about their personal and professional development. What makes developing in these areas a little harder than say, becoming a faster keyboarder or a better excel chart maker is that these involve the combination of several skills AND the path to “better” is not as clear cut. Improvement requires a combination of heightened self awareness, some ability, some learned technique, some situational practice and some sort of feedback. Not easy stuff.
But, I have begun to believe that sometimes we over-complicate our own development, to the point of hamstringing ourselves. I surmise that one of the ways we do this is by identifying too strongly with our current ways and not enough with our desired ways. Of course we all have traits, temperaments, preferences, styles, etc. that together make up our unique personality or identity – which is usually pretty stable throughout our lives. I don’t believe we can just ‘want’ to be a completely different person and *poof* it becomes so – but I do see how powerful a self fulfilling prophecy can be; especially when it constrains us from developing in areas that are important to us. How then, do we loosen the hold of our current picture of ourselves – to make room for a different view.
In looking for ways to help myself and others, I am drawing on my roots in theatre. From early childhood through to University years, I took many drama and acting classes and performed regularly in plays and skits. One of the acting techniques commonly taught to students is the Stanislavsky method or system; where the goal is to help actors be as real as possible, on stage. To believe in the circumstances of the play, Stanislavsky created the magic IF; “What if this was really happening to me?” Rather than pretend and play a part, the actor was encouraged to believe and carry on AS IF this was truly how he/she felt; to use his/her own thoughts, emotions and physical actions to guide performance.
In the realm of skill development, this magic IF can take the form of being or doing the desired skill or behaviour AS IF it were already a part of your repertoire. Rather than treating it as a future state that may happen down the road – try it on now. Think, do, feel, act AS IF you are already the way you desire to be. If you want to become more decisive i.e. decide on alternatives faster, for example; act AS IF you are already adept at decision-making and carry through. See yourself in that light. Watch what happens.
I have started using the magic IF on myself. One of my developmental goals is to become a better salesperson. Clearly this goal requires building a few skills (finding potential clients, introducing myself and our services well, asking good questions to determine fit and then offering something they can/want to buy, for starters) through practice and feedback. What held me back initially is that I did not see myself as someone who did those things. I didn’t identify with it and therefore believed it was beyond me; a fuzzy picture of something off in the distance.
Using my old acting lessons though, I began acting AS IF I was a salesperson. I began making calls, talking to more and more people about what we do, looking for the right kind of opportunities, etc. Sometimes with a colleague, sometimes on my own, I am writing proposals and pitching ideas. I am happy to report I am progressing. I have made mistakes and blunders along the way and certainly have lots to learn. But that’s part of the process. What’s critical is that I see myself differently, which has lead to action, movement and progress in an area that I wanted to develop in.
Want to be more patient? Begin seeing yourself as a patient person. Identify with it. Do what patient people do. Wish you were more assertive? Believe and act AS IF you are assertive. Rather than just hope or wish it, see it as part of who you already are and act it out.
Now, my suggestion to act AS IF is only part of the development process. There are many other aspects to learning or improving a skill, behaviour or capability in the form of study, practice, setbacks, challenges, redo’s, etc. There is no replacement for focused and continued effort. Further, I am not promoting being fake or insincere in pursuit of your own agenda. By all means be open with others as to what you are doing – most times they’ll want to help!
When desired ways of being and doing seem too foreign, farfetched or far-off for you, try the magic IF and see where it takes you. You might just un-complicate your own development and surprise yourself!
What a wonderful, thought-provoking post, Katie! It really resonated with me.
Acting AS IF reframes ” just do it” in a much more manageable, and appealing manner that suddenly seems easy to do.
Often times, the image of who I want to be, or the level of skill I want to attain, seems so unconquerable that I give up before I even try. The possibility of failure and the uncertainty of outcome creates a fear that can overcome the want.
However, in this AS IF framework, there is not so much a goal to be met, as much as an experiment to try. There is no failure, nor even a success. But there is a lesson to learn.
So perhaps, in acting AS IF, I am teaching myself, and learning how to do the things I want to do, or be!
Thank you, Katie!
Great post Katie. l love the simple but powerful concept.
I received this comment via email from a friend who knows a lot about this subject! Thanks G….
I really liked your article… the interesting thing you’ve hit on about behavioural change is that our cognitions and our actions are highly interdependent – but we don’t always treat them that way. We typically think it’s the former (i.e. thoughts/intentions) that lead to the latter (behavioural change), but the reverse is also true. I don’t know if you’ve read any of Richard Wiseman’s stuff (e.g. “Quirkology” or “59 Seconds – Think a Little, Change a Lot”) – but he has done some really interesting experiments (and writes about many others).
One really simple experiment elegantly illustrates how our thoughts/feelings can follow our actions: if you get people to hold a pencil between their teeth (which sort of forces a smile), they end up feeling happier. If you get them to hold a pencil between their lips (which sort of forces a frown), they end up feeling sadder. So, you want to be happier? Act “As If” you already are. Weird, but true!
What’s more, our own sense of self (i.e. how we view ourselves) is prone to be adjusted on the basis of our actions – hence the effectiveness of the “foot in the door” technique. If you can get people to comply with some small request (e.g. signing a petition, or displaying a small sign supporting a given cause etc.), then they will begin to see themselves more in those terms (e.g. socially conscious). They will then be more willing to comply with larger requests partly because their earlier actions have now shaped their self image.
Once again it’s a case of cognition following action rather than the converse. Isn’t it ironic that we may be able to bring able large social changes simply by finding ways to encourage people to take small socially conscious actions?
So often people get trapped into behaving in a certain way because they tell themselves over and over – “Thats just the way I am, If someone doesn’t like it or it is no longer working for me too bad because its just me” I spend many hours working with people suggesting that there just might be a possibility that they could change if they wanted to. It is such a self empowering concept to suddenly realize that you control through your behaviour the results you are seeing in your life.
This is my favourite topic. Thanks for writing so eloquently about it.
Love it Katie!
Really nice, Katie! It’s what many people identity as performing “a head taller” (thnaks to a wonderful phrase used by the brilliant psychologist Lev Vygotsky in describing what happens when young children play). We play who we’re becoming-and we become!
Lois – I thought of you and the notion of performing a head taller (as well explained in your excellent book: Vygotsky at Work and Play!) as I wrote this. I often watch my son at play and see how very real this dynamic is with him. Crazy that we have ‘it’ as a kid and somehow we lose it as we mature. Does adulthood (and the corporate world) simply beat it out of us?
Thanks for your comments!
Katie
Ann – thanks for sharing your take (and experience) on this aspect of organizational life. Sometimes we use this simple model: Intention – Behaviour – Results with groups to emphasize there are a few levers for influencing the results in your (work) life. So many times we expect some change “out there” with other people, events and situations when in fact we have much we can do for ourselves.
Great discussion!
Katie
Katie: You are absolutely right on. I also had a script in my head about the whole sales process (I totally related to your blog) and I had to make a choice to change that script as it was not taking me where I wanted to go. The big leap for me was allowing myself not to be good at something for awhile. As coaches and consultants we are always “sharpening the saw” if you will to refine our offerings. Thanks for sharing.